Churches Emasculate Men

The following Chapter is found in Tim’s book titled, JESUS CHRIST Is the EASY and ONLY Way to HEAVEN. To review and purchase this book, please click on the drop-down “Order Tim’s Books”.


 Many churches emasculate men

 “To hear religious people talk, one would think

God created the torso, head, legs and arms,

but the devil slapped on the genitals.” Don Schrader

Why is it that many church buildings are designed primarily for women and children, but very little space is set apart for high-testosterone guys like me? I am serious! Give me a good reason – please. I get nervous when I am in a church because it is so solemn, and I am not wired for serenity. There is nothing in the Bible that says a place of gathering and worship must be solemn.

I am not suggesting that all churches redesign their interiors to look like a sports bar, but a little modification might make them more accommodating to those guys who feel like they do not belong. I have never yet been in a church that has a sports room. They have arts & crafts rooms, Bible study rooms, libraries, and kitchens – but no special place for rugged guys.

A lot of men do not want anything to do with Jesus because historically most churches have tried to feminize the male gender. Pitifully, the clergy cannot figure out why so many men stay at home while their wives bring the kids.

Jesus Christ was a carpenter, not a florist (not that there is anything wrong with being a florist). Jesus’ very first miracle was turning water into wine at a party. Yes, Jesus was at a party. Jesus’ disciples and apostles were fishermen and businessmen, not harpists. Yet the inside of most churches are feminine in nature. Most churches teach that the man in the family is to be the faith leader, yet they create an atmosphere more accommodating to women.

By God’s design, men have needs that are more adventurous and exciting than those of women. When it comes to movies, men like shoot-em-up bang-bangs and women like warm & cozy. Men like flowers, but they prefer guns and fishing rods. Pastors warn men not to drink, smoke, cuss, gamble, or look at women lustfully. That is like telling a fish not to swim. Let us talk about reality and moderation – not guilt.

Wild at Heart

The most revealing book I have read regarding the Church attempting to feminize men is Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.

An author, counselor, and lecturer, Eldredge was a writer and speaker for Focus on the Family for 12 years. He is now director of Ransomed Heart Ministries, a teaching, counseling, and discipling fellowship devoted to helping people live from deep within their hearts.

Wild at Heart is a book for guys just like you and me. Eldredge is adamant that men need adventure more than we need security, big houses, fancy clothes, and even our politely reserved church pews. He insists that most men have become civilized to the point of over-domestication and because of this they are merely existing rather than pursuing the adventure and excitement that was planted in their hearts by God. John blames part of this problem on the established church, reminding us that church leaders have traditionally focused only on promoting morality and niceness. He also blames the fear of failure for our obvious lethargy. He is emphatic that spiritual fulfillment is more than just becoming religious.

Wild at Heart bulges with Biblical passages reinforcing Eldredge’s convictions that we are given permission and even expected to be all that we can be, while utilizing our Creator’s divine guidance. He also makes it very clear that we can be simultaneously moral and responsible while being bold and daring. I chuckled when I read C.S. Lewis’ quote, “We castrate the gelding and bid him to be fruitful.” As a reader, I was pleased that Eldredge calls a spade a spade. What I enjoyed most is the humorous way Eldredge shares his own failures, indecisions, fears, weaknesses, and wimpiness. He is a man with whom I can definitely identify.

Male Hormones

Churches insist that the men change their hormones, rather than admitting that churches must change.

I have read several books on biopsychology, and James McBride Dabbs and Mary Godwin Dabbs’ Heroes Rogues and Lovers was the most compelling. This comprehensive book presents thorough and conclusive studies:

Social psychologists explain people’s behavior by their backgrounds, surroundings, and personalities. Over the past decade I have done this, but I have added testosterone and other hormones to the usual social variables. My students and I have studied testosterone measures from more than eight thousand men, women and children, and I am convinced that what we and others are learning will fill a gap in our understanding of social behavior.  Prologue xvi

It is clear that testosterone affects our bodies in many ways, but some people reject the idea that testosterone has important effects on how we think and act. This latter view arises in part from the political philosophy that all people are created equal, at least in the eyes of God and the law. If we are created equal, it is said, then important differences among us must come from education and experience. In this view, biology and testosterone do not matter much, and studying them will only distract us from more important issues of human justice. I have a different view. I agree that education and experience are important, but I think biology is important, too. It is obvious to me that we are biological creatures who live and die according to the rules of nature. Illness wears us down. Bad food shortens our lives. Genetic disorders cloud our judgment. Chemicals affect our moods. When people say testosterone is unimportant in the study of human affairs, I think they are speaking more from bias than from evidence. Page 19

Research establishes that high-testosterone men are more likely to have misbehaved in school as children, get into more trouble with the law as adults, use drugs and alcohol more frequently, and have more sex partners than men with low testosterone.

In their research, Dabbs found that trial lawyers had more testosterone than all other lawyers. Construction workers and prison inmates had high levels of testosterone. Ministers and farmers had low levels of testosterone.

As Christians we should learn more about the chemical makeup of the body and its contribution to our behavior, rather than pounding on the lectern instilling guilt for being human. Of course, environment and circumstances have a major effect on one’s desires and behavior, but hormones are an important contributor. The church is pushing good men from Jesus!

It is time for a change. I do not feel it is the purpose of this book to determine what changes should be made, but I suggest that all Christians pray for divine guidance as to what improvements should be implemented to attract more men into Jesus’ Church.

[1] Admittedly, this is a sexist chapter—and it is meant to be.

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6 Thoughts on “Churches Emasculate Men

  1. This is right on target.
    Somehow it is forgotten that even amongst sheep & cows, the males have horns. If they did not, in the space of one generation, there would be no more sheep or cows.
    God made men as they are for a reason. It is not a bad thing to like sports, to have been a cop and a career military man, to know how to shoot and fight and to have defended the weak against the strong.
    And yet in the company of smug women and feminized men who have apparently never known danger or struggled against truly evil folks intent on harming the innocent, I am made to feel as though my very male ness is somehow unacceptable in the eyes of God, and that I am diminished for it.
    In the middle of the night, when someone’s kicking in the front door, the kids & dog don’t automatically look to Mom to deal with the intruder. They look to Dad, and he better be able to deliver.
    Because one can do these things, recognizing that the cost may be your own life, does not mean that your inherent male ness is evil or somehow wrong.
    To paraphrase Thomas J Jackson, the Civil War Hero, “It is every soldier’s perfect duty to love his country, to honor God & his family, and be prepared to give his life for them in an instant.”
    Men were created to struggle mightily. Without the call to arms, be it against the intruder intent on theft and harm, or to band together and repair the home of someone less fortunate, we wither and die.
    I see men all around me trying harder and harder to be meeker and milder in churches.
    It’s not producing the kind of men that will stand firm against ISIS or their descendants when they get here.
    Let us remember that Jesus was neither meek nor mild when he threw the money changers out of the temple.
    A meek or mild man could never court a terrible death by condemning the Pharisees as vipers.
    I regret that the realization that we still need Christian warriors will not be coming in my lifetime, and that those who read this post will respond to me and those like me with horror and righteous indignation.
    Let us save that for the Jordanian pilot, or the 22 Egyptian Christians in Libya, or young American women serving as aid workers who were abducted to a brief, grim existence.

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  3. sharon on August 13, 2014 at 2:48 pm said:

    this was the first time I visited your site. Really appreciated this read.
    Men are not in the church because it seems to just be another place for the wife an kids.
    So many women in the ministry today. Men will let them do the job if thats what keeps the ladies happy.
    Then the men can do what they like without hassle of church things.
    Tv church satisfies most men, they are easier pleased than women, who want to dress up and go
    to a church.
    Just my observations

  4. Thank you, Lisa, my friend. I have been in the trenches for three decades attempting to convince my fellow sinners to realize that God loves them, but it is an uphill battle, primarily caused by them believing men cannot do “man things” and be loved by God. It is not that they don’t believe, but they don’t believe they are worthy because they (we) have high levels of testosterone. High levels of testosterone are usually not welcome in the church setting. I am keeping on keeping on.

  5. Lisa Carlino-Boyd on May 22, 2014 at 12:01 pm said:

    Hey Tim:

    I do have your first book about Heaven, but I did not reach the above chapter on the Church Emasculating men!
    I think your thoughts and ideas on this ‘epidemic’ if you will are brilliant and fascinating.

    It’s a good subject and concern in our society today to bring before the Throne of Grace in prayer.

    Thank you for your outspoken spirit and genuine LOVE for JESUS.

    Lisa Boyd

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